Me? Stubborn? . . .

I flunked two Spanish tests, can't understand the teacher, am struggling through homework, frustrating my tutor, and considering it as a minor. Crazy? Maybe. When I was in elementary school, I wanted to be an engineer just because I was awful at math. What is it about me that makes me so obstinately try what I'm told I cannot do? I suppose that I love laughing in the face of impossibility and mocking overwhelming odds. In my mind "you can't" is translated "you should." This can be dangerous. It can lead to eating live goldfish, climbing 11,000 foot mountains when I'm out of shape, or dirt-biking on level 4 mountain tracks (I think still have the bruises). I didn't think I could and that's why I knew I should. But stubbornness has its qualities. Right now my ambitions are through the roof, in my eyes. I honestly don't believe I have the ability to accomplish any of them. But that's why I have to try. (: God, let me be obstinate in You and for You only.