I'm finally coming to the realization that I'll have to live with the news everyday, hearing about cassualties and not knowing if it was my brothers or not. I'll also have to live with careless and insensative people who can't feel what I feel. God, let me be sensative! Thousands of American families feel the same way and they haven't got the strength and grace of God to draw on. I think of my brothers a lot too. No matter what stereotype others fit Marines into, I know it would kill my brother to shoot through a human shield. There are so many things in war that are worse than death. Life is already changing. Part of me just wants to go home; the other part wants to stay far away from the place I know will remind me everday of the situation we're in. Pray for my mom, dad, and brothers. This is hard for us.

I'm getting irritated and weepy--I feel like being alone all the time--I'm either really affected by this whole thing, or I'm about to start my period.