Sleep, food, and other such luxuries . . .

I wonder sometimes if I suffer from my own self-neglect . . . kind of like a self-punishment. I haven't been eating much and I don't sleep unless I have to. I haven't done anything fun for some time and my social life only consists of what others make me do. It's like I feel I don't deserve anything more. More than pushing for excellence, I seem to be driving myself into a hole simply because I'm not good enough. "Ok, Mary, you're grounded from anything you hold slightly valuable untill you can do better!" Maybe I read too much into it. (: God, let me remember how valuable I am to You. Let me have a faith that passively waits for Your timing.