Finish to my stories . . .

in 4/17's entry I could have written pages on recent experiences. Now I am going to finish the "stories" I started by stating simply . . . I AM FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE PUHAHAHAAH (dances around room like lunatic). And to think I thought leaving the paper would be HARD?? WHEW!!!!

ya, Candace was so flattering. I love that girl to PIECES!!!! I forgot what good buds we'd become. I hope I go back someday for her sake . . . just not someday soon. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Afterward I was a little weepy, so, as I came dragging out the door, lost and confused after extracting the last bit of myslef that gave me any worth, there, like an omen, was Will. Standing there. Doing nothing. Kinda creepy. Very Will-like. So of course I dumped on him and he said I was doing the right thing. Ya--in that many words. (: But it was really helpful and he told me a bit about his own experience with leaving that was also really helpful. After all this healing helpfulness, . . . yep, you guessed--I found Vieve to cry some more. (: She was also very helpful!! In fact, after quitting with anna, I thought I brought a tear to her eye as she congratulated me for breaking my disturbing pattern of subjecting myself to overbearing (to be kind) friends. Don't worry, overbearing friends, it was entirely my fault--b'sides, you'll all find other chumps longing to be bossed around--PUAHAHAHAHA (ow harsh)

Anna let me go easily. She said, "Oh, I know." I asked, "How did you know if I didn't even know!!?" "Oh, I could just tell." I wonder if that's why she's been holding me back a little. Well, that wasn't horribly flattering, but life goes on. (: I like her more now that she has no claim on me . . . now that I am once more an individual . . . now that I don't have to dart to class, ducking under my coat after chapel and hide in the back room at the cafeteria!!! NOW THAT I AM FREEEE!!!!!

Actually, we had some good times. (: Nothing was better than when I made her laugh.

Still! There was that day I got the e-mail from two people back home. That's a story in itself. Ask about it if you want to hear it. Let me just say that getting two e-mails from two different people at the same time then IMing another and then thinking of annabelle made me realize that I am in a self-destructive pattern in regards to relationships. It was so eye-opening. SO FREEING!!!! FREEEEEEEEE!!! I should have listened to my mother. But, as Vieve said, I've known for a while, but now (as she grabs me by the shoulders and gazes at me through misty eyes) I am finally ACTING on my knowledge! So I no longer have a life or identity. But I have hope and a future!!! Praise God for what He has done in my life! And praise Him for what He plans to do!!!