I wonder how I feel about going back to school. I certainly can't stay here any longer. Part of me longs for the absolute security of home. It's pretty predictable. But I was not born to live in predictability . . . something is suffocating. Sometimes I get cold feet thinking of school. There has been a lot of bad associated with that place the last two years. Last semester ALONE I not only worked my bottom off for those terrifyingly low grades I recieved, but also felt abused at work, dealt with a war in the international AND personal way, dealt with a mom who was going crazy at home, a little brother in the throws of teenagerism, a father who is learning sensativity, depression, health, lonliness, war, war, and war. And the three semesters before that seemed to be getting worse progressively--is that an oxymoron? God wants me there and I know I've been blessed. It's a confusing time for everyone. I have to visit Grace before I go back--gives me the proper boost to get myself there.