Valentines, Yellow Ribbons, and Wodehouse (believe me, they really do have something in common) . . .

I thought about my brother a lot yesterday. In the middle of making plans for his first ever Valentine's Day with his girlfriend, The US sent him overseas to spend Feb. 14th with smelly men in a stuffy boat, or march over foreign, unfriendly lands. Right now, he’s seeing harsher conditions than I’ll ever see. I think I'll stop complaining about not having a date for Valentine's Day now. A warm bed a square meal sound pretty special after talking with him.

I hope and pray that I can face war as P.G. Wodehouse did. I want to have the strength laugh at the world and, in so doing, draw others above the mire of their hopeless misery and let them see the comedy of life's tragedy. The spiritual healing resulting from such satire is the most blessed gift of all. Thank You, Lord, for this ray of encouragement in the darkest times.

PS. My brother's girlfriend tied a yellow ribbon around her tree for him (: I like her.
PPS. The German phrase Wodehouse repeats in the story means "How's the weather?"

Big Fat Valentine's Night . . .

I had the coolest Valentine's Day. I got a plant from my dad and chocolates from girlfriends. After a long day of classes I crashed on my bed for a couple hours. I awoke to Vieve jumping on me and a bunch of girls in my room talking pizza and soda preferences. When dinner business was taken care of, Vieve drove Jennie, Emily, and I to get pizza and ice cream. The near-death experiences along the way woke me up for a long night of partying. We ate lots of pizza and ice cream and watched My Big Fat Greek Wedding. The room was full of silly, sentimental girls (well, at least one*cough*). We sat around for about two hours after the movie, talking about . . . about . . . um . . . never mind what we talked about. Then I got this awesome e-mail from my eccentric Egnlish teacher from high school years. We grew really close when I was taking her class. I had prayed specific prayers for her life and slowly they have all been answered. THANK YOU GOD! She's 41 and has wanted a husband so badly. Well, today she got engaged (: I screamed, jumping up to tell the girls and read them the e-mail. I’m sure they cared too—maybe they just prefer to show their emotions through surprised staring. Or maybe they’re not used to ballistic outbursts over a long-awaited engagement. Anyways, I love the guy she's been dating and our family has known him for longer than she has. So that topped the whole thing off nicely.

The nice thing about Valentine’s day is the girls that may usually be studying think they need to be doing something on this particular night so they’re game for a party. (sigh) I love my girlfriends! Nothing tops a romping night with them. Thank You for answering my prayer, Lord. I’m so grateful for my girls. (:

Struggling through marshmallow Jello . . .

I get so frustrated with myself. I don’t know how I feel about anything right now. There are a lot of things I would like to know; things I wish were clear. Based on what I know, I would draw reasonable and strong conclusions. Then I would act in perfect reasonability. But I can’t know them and I can’t ever act correctly. Hind-sight shows all my faults and I feel, again, as if I failed. Then I fall into all of the doubts and frustrations that have plagued me for so long: I’ve never been anywhere, done anything, been heart-broken, or acted on my passions for a cause. The list goes on. Will I ever be strong enough to be anything? Will anything ever become of my life? When will something slightly extreme happen to me? When will I be touched by something extreme? Will I ever have depth? Will I ever have intimacy? Will I ever feel real hatred or bitterness? Why am I here? Just for everyone else? Or is my life actually going to form into something unique? I feel stuck. Am I impatient? I wish I could do the work I have now with excellence and trust that I will grow. Instead I feel like I struggle and fail all the time. Marshmallow Jello, I suppose. I struggle through Jello, stumbling over marshmallows all the time. It’s a pitiful sight, but that’s life.

A New Blog . . .

Hello Blog!!! I missed you a lot. I'm glad you've come back because it can get so frustrating to keep my feelings inside. I don't care if no one ever reads you. You're my friend and that's all that matters. Yes, maybe I am psycho for chatting so affectionately with my blog. But I really like you and it's Valentine's day (in an hour) so I though you should know. So, Blog, this is for you!!! (sings a song).