I have never been to Disney Land before. eek!

Disney Land (: Disney Land (: (: (: Recreation!!! ok, everyone, recreate and come back refreshed! Those are the orders!!!

II Thes. 1 . . .

3We ought always to thank God for you, brothers, and rightly so, because your faith is growing more and more, and the love every one of you has for each other is increasing. 4Therefore, among God's churches we boast about your perseverance and faith in all the persecutions and trials you are enduring.
5All this is evidence that God's judgment is right, and as a result you will be counted worthy of the kingdom of God, for which you are suffering. 6God is just: He will pay back trouble to those who trouble you 7and give relief to you who are troubled, and to us as well. This will happen when the Lord Jesus is revealed from heaven in blazing fire with his powerful angels. 8He will punish those who do not know God and do not obey the gospel of our Lord Jesus. 9They will be punished with everlasting destruction and shut out from the presence of the Lord and from the majesty of his power 10on the day he comes to be glorified in his holy people and to be marveled at among all those who have believed. This includes you, because you believed our testimony to you.
11With this in mind, we constantly pray for you, that our God may count you worthy of his calling, and that by his power he may fulfill every good purpose of yours and every act prompted by your faith. 12We pray this so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ.[2]

I'm finally coming to the realization that I'll have to live with the news everyday, hearing about cassualties and not knowing if it was my brothers or not. I'll also have to live with careless and insensative people who can't feel what I feel. God, let me be sensative! Thousands of American families feel the same way and they haven't got the strength and grace of God to draw on. I think of my brothers a lot too. No matter what stereotype others fit Marines into, I know it would kill my brother to shoot through a human shield. There are so many things in war that are worse than death. Life is already changing. Part of me just wants to go home; the other part wants to stay far away from the place I know will remind me everday of the situation we're in. Pray for my mom, dad, and brothers. This is hard for us.

I'm getting irritated and weepy--I feel like being alone all the time--I'm either really affected by this whole thing, or I'm about to start my period.

There are so many emotions I'm experiencing. I want to talk, but more than ever, have no one I want to talk to. I feel so alone, even when my roommate gives me a sympathetic hug. Mostly I think of Mom and Dad. It's so good to be with them. I think of my brothers all the time. Sure, this is what they trained for, but they were my closest friends all my life and I can't just forget who they are inside to replace it with a heartless soldier. They're men no different than any other except that they have experienced harsher conditions than most. There are a lot of worried people. I want God to work in me durring this time to comfort and uplift--not to drag down or depress. He's given me so much grace and wants me to pass it on.

Pain . . .

So much pain . . . please, God, use us to relieve some of it!

Prayer . . .

It weirds me out to see how specifically God answers my prayers. Not the intellectual prayers or the ones I feel I should pray. God answers those tearful cries in the night, often fringed with pain. He seems to want me to admit I am week and need specific things that don’t seem necessary for a stronger person. Never will His grace cease to blow me away. I don’t know why I doubt. I suppose I have my own idea of righteousness and I assume that God will cast me into the mold with no forwarning, depriving me instead of letting me grow into discipline. That may be my plan for my life, but His is so much gentler. He desires to give me my heart’s desires. I am week. He doesn’t mind J He wants to be my strength. He wants to give me everything. It’s all so strange still. God, you are truly my best friend and my Loving Father! Let me never ever hesitate to entrust my deepest desires to You.