It is the three-month anniversary of this blog (: THIS one. Not the other ones (the first or second). Anyways, I really like my little blog and am proud of most of its postings. Thanks for a good three months, blog!

I meet the most interesting people. Nearly every day I meet an interesting person. I would say that the people I meet are more educational to me than the books that I read or the lectures I sit through. Maybe that is why I feel such an urgent need to become a journalist.

Beating the streets

I love looking for a job. (: It's so mysterious. While looking, you feel this certain super power--like you could take any of the jobs you read about. Envisioning yourself in each one suddenly makes you feel experienced and strong--able to take on the world!!! Then you go for an interview--HA! talk about reality check (: Still, as I read these adds: "caretaker for men in psycho ward," "Chef for new cuisine resteraunt--10yrs. exp. required," "Prison guard for troubled youth," or "Mechanic for high-tech equip.--apply at NASA," I am overwhelmed with the feeling that I can do or be anything I want. And how many times are we at that place in life (:

Wangsu is SO my hero. He goes to internet cafes and steals SN's and writes people, then he changes other people's passwords from their SN! He says it's better fun than egging a house and ding-dong-ditchin'. (:

Gosh, I have had more fun with my little brother in the past four days then all of his 13 years combined! Well, that's not true. We've always been friends. But these past few days were just fun. (: He has so much personality and wit and humor and everything. He's at an awsome age. We love all the same stuff. (: hahahaha

I guess I've realized how much I want to be a journalist in the last few days. ): No matter where I go or what I do, something is always there reminding me how much I want this. It kind of hurts because I can't have it. Right now nothing can make me feel that I will ever get it. But I will never stop trying--not right now--not while that is where my passion lies and God has yet to redirect my steps. I suppose most of my life I have felt that I have loved things that haven't loved me so much in return, and journalism is one of them. Well, no matter. Being good at nothing is like being good at everything--it leaves you the option of going after what you love most. And that's exactly what I'll do. (:

A lengthy but worth-while apology . . .

I feel I should apologize for my recent post at www.orual.blogspot.com. A wise man once said:
Art may be propaganda,
but propaganda is never art.
--William James Minnis
And, you see, I passed this piece of art off as a bit of social commentary. I suppose I wasn’t entirely at fault. Sometimes, when art is pure, it does highlight social hypocrisy and inspire change. Look at Ruskin. He wrote of his observations of weather—that was all. Yet through his simple observations, one derives a whole wealth of social commentary. Yes, Cisco may feel that he was a hypocritical fake with a hidden agenda, but I hold that all artists could stand to learn a lesson from him.

I suppose what I mean to say is what I jotted down on the pad by my lamp last night. Propaganda creates an image of reality and, therefore, truth that reveals a lie or hypocrisy and inspires change. Take an infomercial. Say it is about knives. If I were selling you a knife, I would start by showing you the horrible way in which you lived before, highlighting a false reality. You see the frazzled homemaker in the kitchen cutting fingers and toes, and ruining all the sweet blessedness of the home-cooked meal with her sweat and blood, and you believe that this has been you—duped into the false belief that you had to live this hellish life for the sake of a good meal! No my friends! You don’t DESERVE such a life! But you see that anyway. You saw that truth as soon as you saw reality and the lie you had believed. Suddenly you have the inspiration to correct this injustice, to RIGHT this WRONG!! TO EXPOSE THE LIE AND LET THE WORLD KNOW THE TRUTH!! YOU’RE WORTH MORE THAN THIS!!! A LOT MORE!!! 10 EASY PAYMENTS OF $24.99 MORE!!! And there you have it: the perverted form of art known as propaganda.

If propaganda creates a false or synthesized reality to serve its purposes, than art does the opposite, highlighting a portion of true reality with no other intention. Because reality holds truth, it may expose the lies and hypocrisy of life. Doing this may inspire social reform among the enlightened, but it will be an inadvertent effect if the art is pure.

So I apologize on two planes. My art did take on a sort of propaganda-like tone, although it started pure. But the second plane holds a truth that has been burning into my soul for too long now: to write truth, we must write reality and to write reality, we must write observation, and to write observation, we must write from experience—the deadly e-word. ): I’ve never been a starving artist—nowhere close, accept for a couple all-nighters I pulled with nothing in my stomach or in the room and a frigid workspace. There were aspects of that story I related to. I wrote quickly and smoothly about those. The rest became a bit more burdensome and now it is clear why.

Gosh, so there’s my confession. I wonder if anyone will read this. (:

Ah! Les Mis

MARIUS
In my life
She has burst like the music of angels
The light of the sun
And my life seems to stop
As if something is over
And something has scarcely begun.
Eponine
You're the friend who has brought me here
Thanks to you I am one with the gods
And Heaven is near!
And I soar through a world that is new that is free

EPONINE(to herself)
Every word that he says is a dagger in me!
In my life
There's been no one like him anywhere
Anywhere, where he is...
If he asked... I'd be his

MARIUS & EPONINE
In my life
There is someone who touches my life

MARIUS
Waiting near

EPONINE
Waiting here

A Heart Full of Love


(Marius goes into the garden, leaving Eponine outside the gate)


You’d have cried too had you heard it—even for the millionth time as is the case with me.

You know, I have a theory—some of you have heard it—despite the doubters and skeptics, I have found it to be relatively true—there is an Eponine in EVERY relationship and most men WILL miss her—however, she is almost unfailingly the better catch—but men, being men, consistently fail to see this—yes men, if you have had a girlfriend, there is probably an Eponine somewhere out there for you—the better catch—the loyal soul—the loving heart—the relentlessly strong character—the sacrificial spirit—and ya, stinkin’ cute (: haha—she’s always cute in the play—she’s not cute in the book, of course—and that’s the point—Men, let this be a lesson to you!—if you’re smart, you’ll find the Eponine in your life!!! If not, well, may heaven have pity on your poor soul—you will need it going through life without a good Eponine by your side.

Old ones

I can't find my oldest blog postings anymore ): That is very sad. my old blog is pretty cool still. (: I found another blog I started last Christmas, but could never get it going--something wrong with Blogger at the time. It's a lovely little blog now, though. (: visit and enjoy!