yesterday, my friend said i looked sad.

i told him it was my homework, which, yes, makes me sad...

but when someone says something like that, i always wish later that i had replied with more honesty.

so i think what i would have liked to have said is that im feeling completely useless.

and that is the irony. because the point at which we are most frustrated and useless is probably the point at which we are in the throng of something useful.

in other words, at the time you realize that nobody is listening to you, that is the time you are probably saying something worth while.

its the time they decide that passion is preaching against "gays" over the pulpit--the time kids you care about start making decisions that will screw them over for a few years--the time your friends start thinking a grudge is the best way to handle things.

the time a close friend tells you he has lost his faith.

that's when nobody listens, because words have suddenly turned obsolete. but maybe that's the time im most needed.

so why is it also the time im most in need?

i may be needed, but right now, i just feel useless.